Sick

For the past two days, I've been sick. That's one of the hardest things for me to admit, to give in to. I religiously take Sambuca, Vit. D, Vit C, Fish oil and a natural mulit-vitamin. Hundreds of dollars pass between my wallet and All Pro. Yet, something wasn't right. I had felt tired, very very tired for the past couple of weeks..maybe longer if I admit it. It's no wonder, with all of the late nights and early mornings, I told myself. It's nothing. Nothing? What if it *was* something? So, I gave in and visited my medicine man (aka Dr. Eric). A few labworks later, I found out I was on the road to diabetes and a heart attack. Thankfully, I've been granted a detour. My own death scares me, but not for myself. I am confident in the knowlege that to be absent from my body is to be present with my Lord. The rest would be heavenly..literally! However, I don't want my sweet children to finish growing up with no mama. I know that my older two would probably have to go live with their biological father, and be ripped from all of the friends and 'family' we've built into our lives in the past eight years. Caden would not only lose a parent, but siblings as well. Unless some miracle came through, Jon would be left to deal with the loss of a wife, children he loves as his own, and one lonely little boy. The mere thought of it makes me cry. Writing those words made tears stream down my cheeks. SO..it's on to a new game plan. With God's help, and the help of some great friends and encouragement from my family, I'll be eating much healthier and excersizing even more. I thought I was doing a good enough job most of the time, but, apparently, I was giving into my addiction to cake and french fries a little more often than I remembered....