Thursday, March 22, 2012

Baby Squirrel

Following Caden as he pedaled his Transformers bike along the path in Muskingum Park created the perfect 'moment' for hand holding with Jon and enjoying the early and very blossomy spring. Watching this 7 year old boy cautiously maneuver his bicycle around pedestrians, fellow bikers and even few roller derby queens gave me one of those 'everything's right with the world' feelings. Birds were singing, children were laughing and lovers were sitting on a bench by the river. It couldn't have been more picturesque.

Then, we saw the baby squirrel.

Tiny, naked, eyes, fused shut and all alone on the ground. My first impulse was to scoop it up and warm it against my chest, but was afraid of hurting it. The little guy must have fallen from so far up, yet there was no blood, and it was wriggling and moving all about, looking for the comfort of fellow nest-mate siblings and mama squirrel. Animal person I am not, and squirrels in particular make me think of a tree-dwelling rat; however, baby person I am. My baby-care instincts were slowly overcoming my tree rat aversions.

After some intense conversation with Jon, I left the baby on the ground to be scooped up by the mama squirrel and carried back up to the nest. Did I believe that was really going to happen? Probably not, but I did eventually leave it at his insistence to avoid a scene. I could not figure out why he was so adamant about not bringing this little squiggler home and letting me at least try to care for it. If you know Jon, you know it isn't like him at all to be cruel...or to tell me no.

Today, I understand.

He would rather have me angry with him than devastated from caring for a tiny, living creature who (in his mind, anyway) was probably injured beyond saving and would die in my hands. He is usually protecting me from hurt when he is able, and he saw right through my 'poor baby squirrel' words. He knew I saw a baby boy that was born cold and still and too soon..whose eyes were still fused shut, who never moved or breathed, whose lifeless body in my hands caused us more pain than we had ever imagined possible...and he wasn't going back there. I understand. I love you.




4 comments:

Nicole said...

<3

NatureMama said...

Oh, Crysta, this made me cry. You have an amazing husband and are truly blessed to have the ability to see, in retrospect, his intuition and love for you outweigh all else. Also, having raised two squirrels and having to bury one of them, which was heartbreaking, and knowing the loss that you have suffered that is far beyond any I have ever felt, my heart aches for you. I love you, dear friend.

Crysta said...

I love you, too. I'm also scooping up the next helpless baby tree rat and bringing it to you. I'll need directions to the new place ;)

Lydia Donnelly said...

beautiful post