Saturday, April 24, 2010

mean girls

I would rather have my wonderful group of friends suddenly turn their backs and disown me, than to watch my little girl see the people who she thought were her friends turn their cold nasty little backs on her. She's not a perfect girl, but truly has a servant's heart, and a giving spirit. This makes her an easy target. These girls know if they need to exclude, to have a target, to gossip, that she is one who will forgive, forget, and go to the movies with them the next weekend.

Social networking makes it even worse. Seeing pictures posted of fun times, sleepovers and parties that she didn't get invited to make her withdrawn, sullen and wondering what is wrong with her. No matter how many times we do the mall, paint our toenails or walk downtown to check out the newest Troll beads, a mom is no substitute for girlfriends. I'm too old, and she knows I'm just trying to make things up to her..things I didn't do; things she didn't cause.

The pain of middle school mean girl syndrome shows up as blue eyes that don't sparkle, a perfectly bowed mouth with corners pointing down and hours of endlessly watching TV. She thinks her belly is too big, her clothes aren't good enough, her house not in the right location. My sweet girl never had problems making or keeping friends until this year. Deciding to homeschool for the first time was probably a major cause; not only would she not defend herself in the first place, but, she isn't someone they have to face each day, knowing how cruel they've been. This is the girl that, in kindergarten, had to have the teacher draw names from a coffee cup to see whose turn it was to sit beside her, or they'd all push and shove in a 5 year old mosh pit to secure the coveted spot.

I'd give anything..anything at all for this pain to be taken from her. I remember it well myself, and am sure these little girls who are being mean to her have learned it well from another. Why is it this way? Is there a way to end it? Am I the only mother that teaches The Golden Rule?

2 comments:

Trisha said...

That girl of yours is top notch! I hate to hear she is hurting. Give her a big ol' HUG for me!!

Pam said...

Wow Crysta, this sounds just like my Lexi. Here she is in 7th grade and still searching for that one true girl friend. I think in the end her best friend is going to be a guy, she is so not into all the drama that goes with hanging with girls. Girls definitely can be very mean. Just one more reason you need to move to the beach...our girls would have each other.